Tuesday, February 18, 2014

23 days, $1150, And One Hell of a February - DAY 13

23 days, $1150, And One Hell of a February - DAY 13

Goal: make 1265.00 in the month of February.
Bills: Security Deposit on new apartment 425, rent on new apartment 425, Hedgehog deposit 150, Key deposit 50, Food 80, CTA 96
Current Funds: 115.00 from Postering for Macbeth - Thank you Rachel Mayer.
                          74.00 from day 1
                          78.00 from day 2
                          00.00 from day 3
                          52.00 from day 4
                            1.00 from day 5
                          49.00 from day 6
                        102.00 from day 7
                          50.00 from day 8
                          98.00 from day 9
                          10.00 from day 10
                          00.00 from day 11
                          36.00 from day 12
                          00.00 from day 13
Need: 602

Below Goal 101.00
Above Goal:



Day 13 of 23

Goal: Rest, Pick up poster from Kev-O, Feed Flibert, work on stories for concert - bread.
Actual: 0
TIME: 0
WHERE: 0
CD's Sold: 0
Temp: High 42, Low 29, feels like 28
Are you ready for the flood? Its coming.

Well folks. This is it. I've fooled you all. I've fooled myself. I am not superman. I can't sing for 29 hours, over 8 days, in sub zero temperatures without actually injuring my voice. Who'd have thought huh? I had you all goin pretty good though, right?

After singing the TINY amount that I did yesterday, I woke up this morning back to square one. My voice hurts. It's not sore, its not weak - it hurts. It feels like someone took their nail, and scratched the right side of my esophagus. The only thing that makes it feel better is standing in a bathroom full of steam, and drinking tsunamis of water.

So - I mean - I've never felt anything like this before and I'm really freaked out. I'm backed up against a wall too, because if I can't sing - I can't pay my bills this month, which, is why I've been pushing it.

We all have limits - Physical limits. And I just hit mine. It's time I listen to my body - and give it the rest it needs. Money will figure itself out. It always does. Or, always has, for the most part. but if I keep singing - It's like running a mile on a broken ankle.

So - Plan of attack -

I'm meeting a friend for coffee at 11:30, I'm talking with my dad at some point today to brainstorm income options. Aside from that - and, I'll leave the option open for emergencies or if i go to the hospital to get this checked out - I wont be speaking. Until Friday. I've never done this before. But the 18 hours of no speaking I did before, helped. It's the only thing that's showed actual results so far.

So - No speaking, or, Very, Very little speaking after about 5 pm today, till i wake up on Friday.
I'm checking in with the folks I'm staying with - If they don't pay for water - I'm going to be taking 3, very long, very hot and steamy showers a day. No we're not talking hot and steamy like the volleyball scene in Top Gun, I mean actual steam. I'm going to keep plugging the throat coat - and am literally going to be drinking as much water as humanly possible. I'm going to be keeping track, and I'll post it here.

I'm also going to be baking bread - and trying some new recopies out for the concert. I'll keep you updated with pictures.

So - That's what the next couple of days will be. Just wanted to fill you in- bit of a change from the day to day subway. Now we're in day to day recovery, so I can get my voice back, regain my sustainability, and play for you all on Saturday at my concert. LINKhttp://www.filamenttheatre.org/event/ryan-westwood-stories-and-songs/

I love you all. Thank you so much for reading, and your kind words.

Mission Go Go Gadget Get My Voice Back -----------INITIATED.

Ryan


EDIT:
Water intake - 2 20 OZ bottles
                       3 liter bottles
                       3 cups O tea
          Total:     There is no way I'm making all those conversions.
       
I thought today was going to be about water. I thought, today would be about hot showers and rest - But in reality - today, like so many other days - was about people. People who read this blog - people - who knocked me over with their beautiful selves today.

Kelly Hill - Kelly and I went to high school together. We sang "I'd give it all for you" from Songs for a New World in some contest. We graduated the same year? Kelly passed on to me, or I asked for, a tradition she started - which was writing a song for our drama professor for each show we did. God, I just remembered that while typing this.
 - Kelly - Today, found me on facebook and said this,

"So here I am in New Haven, CT sitting at my desk at the Yale Collection of Musical Instruments with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes as I just listened to a voice from an old friend.
Hello, old friend, it's Kelly. I've been following your February journey since day one, but today was the first day that I listened to your journey. It's been 10 years, and your voice is still yours, and I didn't realize how much I missed it. Your career is inspiring, and your passion is obvious. You are doing what your heart tells you to do, and although your story, your blog, your words, and your music express ups, downs, struggles, and triumphs; you are successful."

She then went on to talk about how she wanted to support me in my endeavors and wanted to purchase a CD.  And - I haven't talked to her in 10 years. It has been 10 years. A decade - and today - she heard my voice - read my blog - and was moved. And for that - for just that - She made me feel successful today.

Success is something I have battled with for years. How to define it as an artist - how to find it - how to cope with it - what to do with it when you have it - what to do with it when you don't -
Success is like this beautiful, every changing mystery in my life. Just like women, and Hedgehogs, and bread. There's always more to learn.

And she's right - she's right today - today, and the feeling she felt when she heard my songs - is success in my book. You gave that to me today Kelly - so, Thank you.

Allissa Magill (Formerly Alissa Klatt)
Alissa and I went to St. Ambrose together. I haven't talked to her in at least 3 years. Today, she read my blog, hit me up on facebook, and asked what my address was. She wanted a CD. And she wanted to send me 50$ to get me back on track. And she talked to her sister who saw all the shows Alissa and I were in at Ambrose - and he sister wants to send me 25$ to help out.
WHAT? - two folks I haven't seen in 3 years - - - How do I know such incredible people?
I've guaranteed Allissa tickets to my first big show, per her request - And when I figure out how to repay her beyond that - I'll let you all know.

Caleb Woodley
Caleb and I went to Kirkwood Community College together. We were in an improv group for about 2 weeks before I decided I was too chicken shit for that madness and quit,  and have run into each other off and on for 2 years since I moved to Chicago. Caleb read my post today, hit me up on Facebook and said he'd seen I'd applied for Whole Foods - He works there - and said he'd talk to the folks there and get my name off the bottom of the list. Again - how did I end up with such incredible friends. Its a small gesture - that's actually huge - and rocks my world.

Eric Westwood
Eric is my older brother. We went to life together. And are still attending. He lives in Nevada, and I don't see him nearly often enough. Maybe every 2 years. He's also quite the Jewler - See his work here. LINK
Facebook.com/westwoodwonders
He's been following the blog - And was listening to my music today - Best Friends Do This All The Time, and Summer Days - And wrote this -
Was listening to your music and this came out..... I think I'm falling, I think I'm falling freely. I was told to tell you, Though I know you think it's said too freely. Doesn't mean I'm not falling, No, Not falling freely. cause I think I'm falling, Yeah I'm falling freely. Peacefully I lay here dreaming, You're there with me conversing, Not you by sight but I'd know that light, As I'm drifting right with your soul so bright. Not once but twice you bless me with your light , Bein' there with me though you couldn't be, And I think i'm falling, Yeah falling freely. To watch your passion for life and love, Is a simple delight, To remember my arms wrapped around you tight, As we danced throughout the night, Well it felt so right, with you in my sight. It tells me that I'm falling, Tells me I'm falling freely. In truth it scares me, Don't know when I last fell so freely, Opened my heart to this so completely, But I soar through the sky, Never asking why, Freely falling through the sky.

*See paragraph above about success - Copy and post - HERE.

I'm going to write music to some of it next week - assuming my voice comes back from its Vacation in the Bahamas.

 You know - I've read about people walking across america, biking across the alps, and cruising the world with an accordion playing 1 gig every day for a year - all searching for humanity. Searching for the real human connection. The thing that will restore their faith in the human race.
I found it in friends and family today. I didn't even have to leave my couch.

A few friends tell me I have more luck than any person they've ever met - Ever - Maybe I just know the best people in the world. Couldn't they both be ends to the same means? Maybe its not luck at all - Maybe -
Maybe its people.


Song for the day folks -
Kiss me I'm a Virgin.
My first roommate ever - Chris Joersz inspired this my freshmen year of college. He walked up our stairs, took off his shirt, looked me hard in the eye, and said, "Kiss me I'm a Virgin". He, was no virgin. He wanted no kiss. He just felt like ripping off his shirt that day. Funny - what comes out of the silliest things.

https://soundcloud.com/ryan-westwood1/kiss-me-im-a-virgin

Goodnight Dreamers, Lovers, and Scavengers and Vagabonds alike -

Ryan

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